Why do it?

because of the words and because of the books because of the woman in the anorak at the swimming baths … More

Ghost chemo

It’s hard to describe. One day your are fine, not quite the same (age will do this to you), then … More

Nine years ago today

Nine years ago today I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a cancer of the white blood cells. Even though I have … More

On writing and illness

Reading Arthur W. Frank’s astonishing At the Will of the Body  recently has given me pause to reflect on the relationship … More

Open letter to Arthur Frank (on reading At the Will of the Body)

Dear Arthur Frank I’m writing to say thank you for your extraordinary book At the Will of the Body. It is … More

The woman at the workshop

I am at a thing. Not a famous thing, but an important one nevertheless. People are there, people you and … More

Then this

I am taking a break from writing brand new blog posts over the summer. Instead of posting new work I … More

This is the day

I am taking a break from writing brand new blog posts over the summer. Instead of posting new work I … More

Losing my ambition

I am taking a break from writing brand new blog posts over the summer. Instead of posting new work I … More

To my cancer

I am taking a break from writing brand new blog posts over the summer. Instead of posting new work I … More

Not exactly fearless

  Someone who knows me very well knocked me sideways with a comment the other day. Remarking on this blog, … More

The Year of Drinking Water, seven years on (free download)

Seven years ago I published The Year of Drinking Water, a pamphlet of poems, about my experience of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma (Exeter … More

Probably better

A scan, with different initials. The train journey to it, biting nails; the one back pretending not to be radioactive. … More

The cancer World Cup

The ward is a void without him. Football blares in the corner, the monotonous roar of the crowd unleavened by … More

Why aren’t you dead yet?

Jörn Cann wasn’t my friend. He was my doctor. He was famous before we even met him as the doctor … More

A Case of You

The way it starts. With an ending. Just before our love got lost. We have all been here: the wit … More

Curtains

The room is small, the size of a student bedsit. An enormous grey sofa takes up most of the space. … More

This isn’t happening

  Don’t forget, this is inside us every day -Stephen Berg This is not happening. It happened. Past tense. One … More