And though I only met you once, your influence on me is massive, or should
that be was
I don’t want to talk about you in the past
tense
I’m not ready for that
–
Dear Janet
–
In the very early nineties it must have been
still the eighties really
when I think of it
the excitement of the North
trembling in my hands
January I guess
you called out of the blue to talk about a poem
in the days before email
when we called each other
everyone called
but somehow a poet
–
and you were so kind
–
Dear Janet
I wanted to say
I wanted to say
I never said
I never told you
I never told you how much you, your poems, I mean you
I mean you
meant
–
and by the time
we had emailed a few times
it suddenly hit me you were ill
I mean you had told me so I knew
but the way you sounded
the way you sounded a bit tired
really if I’m honest
and I said I would look out for your book
and I didn’t
–
–
Dear Janet
and you were so kind.
You shook my hand
and said your name
and said things
no one had said to me before
and I should have written them down
that line
about teachers
you never forget how they made you feel
you made me feel
you were so kind
and then Naomi brought us drinks
–
and it is such a great book
a really great book
Peter on the back saying no one wrote
-he says writes-
like you
and that is true
that is true
but I did not buy it before you
I did not buy it and now you’re
and I thought you sounded tired in the poems as well
I could hear your tiredness
and I love those poems
you carried on praising to the end
but like a naughty child
sticking two fingers as well
where no one can see
–
Life and Other Terms
What a brilliant title
–
and Ann was there and Peter
summer under a thatched roof
and we read Women Who Dye Their Hair
and Ann said this is it this is the best this is what you need to measure up against
look
it is just two sentences, hidden in plain view
with the Pill in it and orgasms and money and bones and class and culture and
we howled and then drew breath and realised in the
silence
you had made that
–
Dear Janet
I never wrote to say
and I should have
I never wrote to say
–
the more of me
the more of us
because of what you wrote
because of what you saw
noticing in making
making in noticing
who we are all of us
all of us
more because of you
Dear Janet-
–
Goodbye
Life and Other Terms, by Janet Fisher
This is beautiful.
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Thank you Cindy. She was a wonderful person and poet. A x
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