Cut through to what happens when you listen.
Cut through to making it happen, listening for it, failing, then doing it anyway.
Cut through to the core of it, where no one is looking, below the surface, below even there.
Cut down, past where you went before, what worked before, the path you know.
Cut new paths, words, ways of being in the silence, of enduring it.
The words to say all this.
Even if no one is listening.
Perhaps only then.
Sit with it, stay with it, ‘be prepared to bleed’.
Someone sang that, you heard it, now hear it.
Expect to wait, expect to wait, expect to hate it.
This will be the sign: not much outer sign of enjoyment (much less applause), your hand moving quickly as if obeying a trained force you do not recognize. Not so much
a decision of the will
as the thing happening of its own accord
without you there
without your interference
without your knowledge
This is good.
This we can work with.
Begin now. Again.
Don’t wait. Don’t ‘decide’.
You already know what to do.
There is no time like the present.