Why did I write it down?
In order to remember. Of course,
but exactly what was it
I wanted to remember?
How much of it actually
happened?
Did any of it?
Why do I keep a notebook at all?
…
Although I have felt compelled
to write these things down
since I was five years old,
I doubt
that my daughter
ever will,
for she is a singularly blessed
and accepting child
delighted with life
exactly as life presents itself to her
unafraid to sleep
and unafraid to wake up.
Keepers of private notebooks
are a different breed altogether
lonely and hesitant
rearrangers of things
anxious malcontents
children afflicted
apparently at birth
with some presentiment of loss.
Joan Didion, from Slouching Towards Bethlehem
Still remember the first time I read that. Her writing always grabbed me by surprise in the gut.
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