Cut through

Anthony Wilson, , , , , ,

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Cut through to what happens when you listen.

Cut through to making it happen, listening for it, failing, then doing it anyway.

Cut through to the core of it, where no one is looking, below the surface, below even there.

Cut down, past where you went before, what worked before, the path you know.

Cut new paths, words, ways of being in the silence, of enduring it.

The words to say all this.

Even if no one is listening.

Especially then.

Perhaps only then.

Sit with it, stay with it, ‘be prepared to bleed’.

Someone sang that, you heard it, now hear it.

Expect to wait, expect to wait, expect to hate it.

This will be the sign: not much outer sign of enjoyment (much less applause), your hand moving quickly as if obeying a trained force you do not recognize. Not so much

a decision of the will

as the thing happening of its own accord

without you there

without your interference

without your knowledge

even.

This is good.

This we can work with.

Begin now. Again.

Don’t wait. Don’t ‘decide’.

You already know what to do.

There is no time like the present.

 

Published by Anthony Wilson

I am a lecturer, poet and writing tutor. I work in teacher and medical education at the University of Exeter. My anthology Lifesaving Poems was published by Bloodaxe Books in 2015. In 2012 I published Riddance (Worple Press), a collection of poems, and Love for Now (Impress Books), a memoir, about my experience of cancer. The Wind and the Rain, my sixth collection of poems, is available now from Blue Diode Publishing. My current research project, funded by the Foyle Foundation, is Young Poets' Stories: https://youngpoetsstories.com/. This blog is archived by the British Library.

6 Comments

  1. The timing of this is perfect for me. A similar commitment was made through me in my writing practice this morning. Your poem is a confirmation, an echo, a friend. Deepest thanks. Rionach

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  2. Yes – it’s being able to let go and go down I think. On the way – for some reason an image of Alice falling and falling, marmalade and other distractions occurs to me – it’s so easy to be distracted. It’s sitting until it hurts I guess. Penny Shuttle sent me a little Christmas embroidary of a cupcake that said – laugh often sit long. It seems to sum it up. How to be human but also to go inside and down. Thanks for your appropriate words.

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